Nicolas Sarkozy and me
Nicolas Sarkozy, the French president, recently claimed that the British don’t understand the European mindset because they live on an island.
Although he didn’t say this, the notion that the British are a simple seafaring folk that live on an island …
September 16, 2011
Sweet political correctness
A hopefully humorous article about political correctness, about what would happen if a popular British sweet or candy which has a potentially politically incorrect brand name were re-branded with a more politically correct brand name.
The sweets are called ‘Midget Gems’ …
September 4, 2011
My own private Freddie Mercury tribute act
How my own private ‘Freddie Mercury tribute act and low expectations themed evening’ was completely ruined
I was in the fortunate position of never having seen any Freddie Mercury tribute acts in the past, consequently, when I finally did see one, …
March 31, 2011
Human sniffer dogs to be deployed at British airports
Human sniffer dogs are to be deployed at major British international airports in a strategy designed to improve UK airport security and international airline travel by combining the canine’s superior sense of smell with the human beings’ superior intelligence.
They are …
November 21, 2010
Fun with an American conspiracy theory
This response, by myself, to one of the several ‘Get out of America’ YouTube videos supposedly reinforces the conspiracy theory subscribed to by some American YouTubers that there will be martial law, mass arrests and imprisonment of American citizens in …
October 14, 2010
On the New World Order and national flags
The current system of having many national flags is harmful to the environment and should be replaced by a more environmentally-friendly system.
When a national flag is flying it is interrupting the flow …
August 8, 2010
Jaws – the remake.
Does this photo of a big inflatable fish ‘attacking’ a building have connotations of the classic movie ‘King Kong’, or does it sink to the bottom because a fish doesn’t have quite the same charisma as a gorilla?
In the film …
June 10, 2010
‘Ratted’ Australian VW vans at Volkswagen rally
English is a pretty flexible language, as these ‘ratted’ Volkswagen vans which were originally driven in Australia and were on display at a VW rally in eastern England, proves.
‘Ratted’ means that the paintwork is deliberately left in a pretty …
February 25, 2010
On public library cards, tea pots, and Mossad
Since the Israeli intelligence agency Mossad apparently used forged British identity documents for the assassination of a Hamas leader in Dubai, I have decided to take greater care of my valuable identity documents – especially my public library card. …
December 20, 2009
A health and safety Christmas message
This Christmas message gives thanks to Elf ‘n’ Safety, that lovable Santa’s helper that does so much to make Christmas a joyous happy holiday and also a health and safety conscious holiday.
‘This Christmas, as we gather around the cheery burning …
April 21, 2009
Lost in translation
The French sentence ‘je n’sais quo’, which of course translates to ‘I don’t know what,’ is typically used to indicate that something has a certain indefinable quality, so indefinable that it’s impossible to, well, define it..
Let’s be serious for …
April 16, 2009
Computer spectacular
My new computer is transparent, you can see inside it. I think the idea is, you can see how it works. But is it really possible to see how a computer works, and even if you can, is it …
April 10, 2009
Extreme etiquette
I owe the idea of extreme etiquette to an American writer and to a World War 2 novel which he wrote
Sadly, I can’t remember his name, or the title of his novel, which is pretty unforgivable as it’s a good …
April 8, 2009
Bizarre British fashion
In Britain, fashion trends usually start in London and gradually extend beyond the capital; it might take more than a year for a style of clothing that is fashionable in London to become fashionable elsewhere
The bizarre fashion for wearing colourful …
March 25, 2009
Old saying experiment
This is a report concerning an experiment which I conducted in an attempt to prove or disprove whether the old saying ‘what goes around comes around’ is true
First, I sketched an arrow on a piece of paper and wrote next …
November 3, 2008
Bangkok boat stop
I have no idea why I remember the name of my boat stop in Bangkok, Thailand
Maybe it’s because it was so unusual to have a boat stop instead of a bus stop or a train stop. Because …
August 15, 2008
Disappointing Jim Morrison grave
I’m pretty disappointed with Jim Morrison’s grave.
The train ride to the cemetery, on the Paris `Metro’ transit system, is pretty disappointing, the entrance to the cemetery is pretty disappointing, the route to the grave is pretty disappointing and the grave …
January 11, 2008
Bye webcam girl
This hopefully humorous short story is a British version of the American writing style which is called the ’stream of consciousness’ writing style
It has elements of what is sometimes called the ‘human condition.’ This can describe any of the conditions …